A friend sent me an article recently that highlights two common lies about gender.
Patrick Coffin is a radio show host, apologist, and one of the many reminders that staying off of Twitter is a good thing. A while back, he tweeted something along the lines of “women aren’t funny.”
The tweet was obnoxious, and he’s since deleted it. But as evidenced by this article, he hasn’t exactly walked back that opinion.
So, obviously, this is untrue. There are plenty of hilarious women. Coffin actually lists several in his article but he writes them off because they’re either “mannish,” liberals, or lesbians. He says, “it may sound rude…but there’s a way this makes sense.”
Yes. That way is by being sexist.
It’s easy to write this stuff off as a simple case of male chauvinism or a misguided radio personality stupidly sticking to his guns. But it reveals the thought process by which some people define masculinity and femininity.
Lies About Gender: Majority
Coffin’s post is poorly written. It doesn’t include anything to support his claim that women aren’t funny outside of his own thoughts on what makes a woman “mannish.” It’s hard to figure out what he’s saying but he seems to draw the conclusion that comedy is masculine for three reasons:
- Most comedians are men.
- Men are more attracted to women who find them funny.
- The class clown is usually a boy.
If you just thought to yourself, “Huh, all of that is anecdotal evidence,” well, by George, you are one smart cookie.
He’s committing a classic error when it comes to defining gender. He’s taking the average man and applying those traits to masculinity as a whole. “Most men like sports, therefore it’s masculine to like sports.”
But masculinity isn’t a majority vote. That’s the first lie. Masculinity existed before our culture, so our culture doesn’t get to decide what masculinity is. We can’t look at the culture and say, “Most men like feeling funny, therefore being funny is masculine.”
Lies About Gender: Exclusion
He commits a second sin when it comes to defining gender. I call it exclusion.
Because men and women are “opposites” in our minds, we think masculinity and femininity must be opposites, too. Man strong, woman weak. Man think, woman feel. (Feel free to read that sentence in a caveman voice. I read his article the same way.)
Since his first conclusion led him to believe humor is masculine, Coffin’s next conclusion is that it can’t be found in women, because they’re feminine. But here’s the kicker: masculinity and femininity aren’t opposites.
If two things are opposite, it means they oppose each other. Darkness and light can’t both exist in the same place. Same with heat and chill, night and day, etc.
Masculinity and femininity on the other hand were MADE to exist in the same place. They were made for each other. They’re not opposites. They’re a complement, which means they are similar but their differences bring out what’s best in the other.
Even if comedy were more masculine, it doesn’t make sense to say women can’t be funny. We see physical strength as masculine, but women somehow still manage to push a watermelon out of themselves. If a trait is more masculine, it doesn’t restrict women from having that trait.
The only thing a woman can’t be is a father, son, husband, or brother. And if you want to get technical, also an uncle. But the same thing that allows a woman to have incredible natural strength in childbirth without her losing her femininity, also allows her to be a comedian.
For that matter, it also allows her to be a soldier, firefighter, or president. A woman is not mannish because she is physically strong (or even a “liberal lesbian.”) She’s a woman because God made her that way. Who are we to take that away from her?
If Coffin really cared about comedy and human sexuality, he would encourage more female voices in comedy. Comedy is all about disarming an audience through laughter and giving them new perspectives. The feminine experience of our culture is so different from the masculine. Why not give them a chance?
Everyone Chill Out About Gender
The fact is, men and women are 85% the same. We can do a lot of the same things. Like go to the bathroom, for instance.
The differences in the 15% are there for a reason and they’re beautiful. Femininity reveals something about God and masculinity reveals something seemingly opposite, yet coexisting.
Some like to focus on the similarities and insist there are no differences. Some focus on the differences and insist everything is different. We need to ignore them. We need to see both.
If you would like to read more about my thoughts on human sexuality, I’m starting a new post category on Theology of the Body and gender.